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  “How do you know them?” I asked.

  “Linda and I work together across town and her daughter, Becca, goes to your school. Have you met before?”

  “Not formally.” I remarked, then I turned to Becca and tried to look as carefree as possible. “Nice to meet you Becca.” She returned the fake smile and shook my hand.

  “Linda and I started dating a few weeks ago and we thought it might be a nice opportunity for you all to meet. They’re new in town.” How incredibly sweet of you father. I barely have seen you in the last years of my life, and you pull me into your new relationship with the newest Blondesquad’s member. Let me make it through the night. “We have reservation’s at Maggiano’s,” he said. Great, a long dinner.

  At dinner I sat quietly listening to Linda and my dad go on and on. Linda was the adult version of Becca. She was so unlike my mom - like polar opposite. I was like my mom. Why did the attractive blondes always get the guys? Even if I dyed my hair blonde, I still wouldn’t land the guys. I didn’t have the goddess look, long and thick wavy hair, big bosom, curvy hips, and long legs. I was trim from all my running with muscular calves and thighs but got short changed in the boob department. My hair was dark brown, long enough for a pony tail but nothing remarkable. Why was I analyzing all of this? What did it matter? After the salad I began messing with the napkin in my lap, anything to detach from this.

  “Are you dating anyone Brogen?” Linda asked. Becca sat straight up in her chair, anxious to hear my response.

  “Not at this time.”

  “Well surely there is a boy that has captured your heart?” she insisted.

  I glanced at Becca and she raised her eyebrow daring me to say something.

  “Not at this time.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame. There are some hunky guys at Stanton. Becca has her eyes on this fellow named…”

  “Jay, Mother. His name is Jay.” Sigh. I knew it, I waved the surrender flag and threw out any hope of something with Jay.

  “She’s hoping he’ll ask her to the Homecoming Dance.”

  “I hope you get asked.” I meant it. I was done with Jay. She could have him. I liked him but clearly she was pulling him towards her. Guys like Jay didn’t end up with girls like me. My parents were a prime example. My mom’s a lot like me, Dad’s like Jay. He picked my mom but had an affair and is clearly drawn to girls like Becca. Best to save myself the heartache and forget about him. She gave me a surprised look, shocked that I hoped she’d get asked by him.

  After that, Becca smiled and tried to make small talk with me. I was pleasant but in no rush to become friends with her. Hopefully it could just go back to Meg and me conquering our final two years at Stanton - unscathed. The evening ended and they drove me home. I politely said goodbye to Linda, Becca, and my father and headed into the house. I did not want to do this again. Hopefully tonight’s interaction satisfied my dad for the next 5 years so I could crawl back under my little rock of safety.

  “Well, how was it?” Mom asked as she rounded the corner.

  “Tolerable. He has a new girl and her daughter goes to my school. He thought we should all meet.”

  “Hmm, I wonder if they are getting serious?” I could sense her energy change, which probably meant she was feeling jealous.

  “I don’t know and frankly, I don’t care. Like I said before, I don’t need him in my life. I don’t want him in my life.” I didn’t need to worry for Mom, she was an adult and was cute and smart. She could get a guy if she put some effort into it. I had my own pity party to host.

  “You ok?”

  I looked at Mom and smiled the best I could. “Yeah, I am. Just an awkward night, think I’ll go soak in the tub.”

  “Okay, love you sweetie.” I returned the affection with a kiss on the cheek.

  In the tub I let the hot soapy suds wrap me in a warm hug. I felt the weight of the evening seep away with the soapy bubbles and I began to think a bit clearer. I wondered how school would be Monday since Becca and I shared a moment at dinner. Would she actually talk to me when she would see me? Would we act as if we were complete strangers? And what about Jay? Could I watch her making moves on him and see him falling for her? Could I let him go?

  The image of my mom’s jealous face tonight was proof enough that I should protect myself from that heartache and stay away from guys like Jay. I stayed in the tub a few minutes more and actually realized that tonight was a blessing. I got to see what my future would be like if I made the mistake of falling for Jay. I put on my pjs, some music, and grabbed my sketchbook for my nightly sketch.

  Chapter 6

  The week flew by and Friday arrived before I knew it. The week was full of the usual high school busyness with the added excitement of the upcoming Homecoming Dance. Becca wore shorter skirts, higher heels, and tighter shirts and touched Jay every chance she had. She would win him over before the dance next week. Maybe they would even be the Homecoming King and Queen; wouldn’t that be a riot! The two new kids come in and take over Homecoming court! Jay had stopped bumping into me. Although I missed it, missed the zings I felt inside when he touched me, I was glad we didn’t have to have any weird moments of me pushing him away. It just kinda stopped.

  “Come on! Hurry and get your stuff so we can get out of here. Girl’s night of pizza, movie, and sleepover is about to start!” Meg walked me to my locker. I was excited to do a girls’ night with Meg and glad Mom was fine with it.

  “Cool your jets lady. The movie is not till 7, we have plenty of time.” I spun my combination lock and opened the creaky metal door. Then, like a leaf falling from a tree, a blue scrap of paper floated down from the top vent slot. Meg grabbed it before I could.

  We need to talk.

  -J

  “What’s this about?” Meg asked. I felt the color drain from my face. I had avoided him most of the week. I hated confrontation, why couldn’t he just go be with Becca and leave it alone.

  “No clue. Listen, if you want girls’ night to happen fast though, you need to speed me past Jay as if our houses were on fire. Otherwise I’ll be chatting all night and girls’ night will be ruined.” I was fibbing, but I knew Meg would do whatever she had to do to save girls’ night...and I couldn’t talk to Jay.

  We headed out the front doors of the school and saw Jay leaning against a tree chatting with one of the swim team guys. Jay had made the swim team and his circle of friends was growing exponentially with ties to track, thanks to Soren, and now swim team. His teammate spied us coming out the door and pointed our direction. Jay turned and a smile quickly crossed his lips. Then he pushed away from the tree and approached us.

  “Brogen. Meg.” He nodded at both of us and Meg paused on the steps. I gave her arm a tug to remind her we did not want to stop girls’ night for anything. But Meg was like a deer trapped in headlights.

  “Brogen, Can I talk to you for a moment?”

  “Sorry, we have big plans tonight and are already late.” He looked down at the ground in disappointment and quickly looked up, “I can keep it short, please just 2 minutes.”

  “Brogen, two minutes shouldn’t make us late,” Meg said. I pinched her.

  “Ow! What was that for!” I glared at her.

  “Traitor.” I muttered to Meg, then turned back to Jay, ”Two minutes. That’s it.” I stormed off toward a quiet spot away from nosey ears. Jay followed and caught up. When we got out of hearing range I spun to face him. “What do you need?” I realized I wasn’t sounding like my usual self but I really didn’t want to have this conversation.

  “Did I do something to piss you off?” That was it? He just looked at me, searching for the answer.

  “No. You have not done anything to piss me off.”

  “Are you bipolar?”

  “What?!” I yelled. Some heads turned and I quickly brought my voice down lower. “No, why the hell would you think that?”

  “Because I like you, I mean I liked you. I liked the Brogen I met at the rabid dog party.” I couldn’
t help chuckle at the fact that he called it a party. I still hadn’t found the right word to term that strange night. “After that I felt like I was really getting to know you, and I liked you. Smart, beautiful, not caught up in the high school drama, funny.” I looked up at him and felt my heart flutter. No one had ever said things like this to me. “Then one day you start ignoring me, like I am a speck of dust and have no desire to even care that I exist. I don’t get it.” I couldn’t look into his hazel eyes anymore, too much emotion and energy coming off him.

  “I had no idea you felt that way.” I was trying to think of what to say next. His statement pulled me toward him, gave me hope that maybe we had a chance together.

  “Listen, the Homecoming Dance is next Saturday. I’m gonna’ go with my swim buddies and just have a night out. Take this week to think about what you want. If you show up to the dance, I’ll take that as a green light to go forward with our relationship. If you don’t, I’ll accept that you have no interest in knowing me and I’ll leave you be.”

  “I thought you’d be going with Becca. I mean she really likes you.”

  “She does?” I looked up to see the most forced look of shock on his face. We both bust out laughing. “I’m sure Becca wants me to take her. But there’s nothing between us.” He looked at me sincerely, “Think about it, and I hope to see you Saturday.” He winked and then walked away. Meg raced over to me.

  “What did he want?” I was melting inside, from being close to him, from his words, from his proposition.

  “I’ll tell you on the walk home.”

  That night we stayed up late talking about what I should do with my Jay situation.

  “I say yes, go to it. I’ll go with you. Jay is a good guy. I mean he even took the attack of a rabid dog for you. All good in my book,” Meg said.

  “But what if I end up like my mom? I think her heart hurts far worse having loved my dad and having him cheat on her with Blondezilla. I don’t think I could handle that.”

  “Well good thing this is high school and not marriage. You can make stupid mistakes without super long lasting effects.”

  “True. I’m probably making a bigger deal about it.”

  “I think the boys swim team has a home meet on Wednesday. Let’s go see him and cheer him on. Drop a hint that he has won your heart,” Meg suggested. I threw one of her stuffed animals at her which went into a full blown pillow/stuffed animal fight.

  That night I dreamt of Jay, sitting on the curb with blood dripping out of each of his bite marks and smiling at me as if he had not a care in the world around me. It was so haunting to see him so marred, so bloody. Yet his face was calm and uplifting. I wish I understood dream symbolism because I’m sure there were all kinds of meanings to uncover. But I brushed it off as my subconscious burning off my anxieties.

  *********

  On Wednesday Meg and I went to the Aquatic Center where the swim meet was in full swing. The crowd on Stanton’s side was plentiful. The visiting team mostly had parents from their team cheering. We found seats in the second row. The best seats were up high - better view of the entire pool, but they were all occupied. Jay was competing in 3 events, the freestyle relay, the 100m breaststroke, and the 50m freestyle. The 50 freestyle was like a sprint and was the first event he was competing in. Jay walked past us on the way to the starting block. Meg hollered his name. He turned and locked eyes with me. The smile that grew on his face was beautiful. I was in trouble. How could I resist this guy? He looked amazing in his team suit - trim with broad shoulders. He took his spot on the block, shook his limbs loose, dove in at the starting tone, and swam like a fish. He swam so fast and only took a single breath. His speed and lung capacity helped him win the heat! Meg and I jumped up clapping! His teammates were congratulating him. He was amazing. He took off his goggles and went to talk to his coach. His coach patted his back in congratulations. They were chatting a bit longer and his coach stopped and was studying Jay’s face. Jay glanced over at us and had a grim look on his face. The team medic came over and was looking at Jay’s face too. From our seats, nothing looked visibly wrong. There was head shaking and Jay looked to be arguing with them. He must have lost the argument because he threw his goggles down and stormed off.

  “What the hell’s going on? Did he disqualify?” Meg asked.

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Why would they need the medic for a disqualification?” We gathered our stuff and ran out of the meet to see if we could find Jay to learn what happened. We looked everywhere but we couldn’t find him. I went back to the pool area and pulled one of his teammates aside to ask what happened. They didn’t know the details but heard he was pulled from the meet for an injury.

  “I wonder what happened. He looked good and even won the event. Jay looked mad at their decision and walked out of there on his own. Must not be too bad.” I said.

  “I wonder why they were looking at his face. Maybe he got cut on something,” Meg commented. I nodded, it was probably something simple like that but didn’t want blood in the pool. I could ask him the next day at school.

  Thursday morning I was anxious to get to school to see if Jay was there and if he was ok. I passed by his locker and saw his teammates surrounding him at his locker and laughing. Jay looked up and had a pair of sunglasses on.

  “Let’s see it,” one of his swimmer’s said. Jay took off the sunglasses and had blood in his eyes and bruising on his cheeks.

  “Jesus, you look like you got in a fight and ate a knuckle sandwich,” his buddy remarked. I stood frozen and staring.

  “Brogen!” He shoved his sunglasses back on.

  “What happened?” I stammered out. I was horrified, he looked awful and it scared me.

  “I’m ok. They call it a subjuncta something or other, Basically I popped a blood vessel in my eye, and my face. Guess I pushed myself too hard to impress a girl.” I lifted the glasses from his face and gently traced my fingers along his bruised cheek.

  “You look awful. Put these back on.” He put the shades back on. “What’s the treatment?”

  “It should go away in a week, you just kinda wait it out like any bruise. I’ll look awesomely scary for the dance Saturday - too bad it’s not a Halloween dance.” I laughed at his joke. He always saw the bright side of things.

  “That was an impressive swim. Are you allowed to swim again or is there a chance this can happen again.”

  “Oh, I’m gonna’ swim again, but maybe not as hard as I did at the meet. So if you don’t mind holding that awesome spectacle you witnessed yesterday in your mind forever when you think of me swimming, I would appreciate it.” Jay looked awful but he was always a bright ray of sunshine and I felt better just being in his presence.

  “Sure.” I saw Becca approaching and decided to take that moment to break away. “See ya’ around Nemo.” Jay smiled as I walked away. The glance I got from Becca was surprised followed by threatening and I chose to look away quickly and head to my locker.

  When I saw Meg later in the day I told her about Jay’s injury. “No wonder he was wearing sunglasses. That’s nuts. Guess he was trying to make a good impression on you. Are you still up for hitting the mall tomorrow night to find a dress for the dance?”

  “Yeah, sounds good. I hope it’s not weird on Saturday. Becca gave me a poisonous glare when I was talking to Jay earlier.”

  “Ahh, don’t worry about her. I’ll be there. Besides, she doesn’t have him yet so technically you are not stealing him away,” Meg pointed out.

  “True. I’m not trying to steal him from anyone. There’s just this thing between us. I can’t explain it.”

  “There’s definitely something between the two of you, you’d have to be an idiot to not see it. Anyway, I’ll pick you up around 6:30.”

  *******

  Friday night arrived and Mom was so excited that I was going to a school dance that she gave me $150 toward an outfit. Meg picked me up at 6:30 sharp. “I should just keep the $150! I can’t believe she gave me t
hat much for a single outfit.”

  “Where’s the fun in that! Plus you got a guy waiting on you Saturday, can’t disappoint him,” Meg teased.

  We were approaching the area of town where the mall was when Meg’s phone started to ring. She was fumbling in her purse while driving. “Eyes on the road lady - I’ll find it,” I chided. Digging past her birth control, gum, I saw the blinking phone and heard Meg scream out.

  Chapter 7

  My head felt like it had exploded and been glued back together. My chest hurt to breathe. My arm felt cold from the frigid IV fluid running into my veins There were bandages on both of my arms and the smell of antiseptic burned my nose. I was in the hospital and in rotten shape. But where was everyone? Where was my mom? Where was Meg? I pushed the call button on my remote. After what felt like fifteen million minutes a nurse came in with my mom.