Rarity Page 3
“Honestly, no. All I remember was thinking I could just walk home instead of catch a ride with a cop, but then it seemed like it took 2 hours to walk a couple of blocks.”
“Well, my dear Brogen, you had a full on panic attack last night. You came in clearly upset, blood on your hands, and began trembling and breathing fast. Before I knew it, you passed out from hyperventilating. I got you conscious enough to help get you to your room. That’s why you feel so ‘frizzled’. After effects of the adrenaline from yesterday.”
“Crazy. That sounds vaguely familiar, the shaking hands I mean. Could it happen again? Is it a one time deal or what?”
“I hope it’s a one time thing. But listen, if you start feeling like your heart is racing, you need to get someplace where you can calm down and breathe it out. It takes a single thought to send you into a panic attack and start the adrenaline cycle. But it takes 15 minutes for the adrenaline to subside. You need to get calm in those 15 minutes. Breathing helps the most.” I nodded in understanding. “Anything else you want to tell me?”
I thought for a second, “just that I’m worried about Jay. I’m sure he’ll be in school Monday and I can check in with him then. But it’s hard to not know how he is.” Mom reached over and gave me a big hug.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Mom cleaned up our lunch and I headed to the bathroom. When I finished I saw Meg standing in the kitchen with my mom speaking in a quiet voice to her.
“I can hear you!” I lied and heard them resume their quiet words. My mom was probably filling Meg in on last night’s events.
“So, Jay to the rescue. Lucky you. Are you gonna’ get a bat signal installed with the letter J on it?” she joked.
“Har har, very funny...not. Seriously, he got pretty mangled. It feels so wrong saying this, but thank goodness that drunk driver came when he did. He totally saved our lives.” I sat on the bench in the front hall lacing up my shoes. “No run today, I feel like garbage - just a walk.” Meg smiled and nodded. She wasn’t super athletic so she preferred a walk to a run.
“Glad you’re ok and Jay was Cujo’s chew toy - not you. Boys look cute in scars, girls don’t.” There was a lot more meaning coming off of Meg that she didn’t say. She was truly grateful I was alive and ok. I hugged her before we headed out the door.
“I’d like to walk past his place and see if his aunt’s car is there, dying to know if he made it home last night or if he had to stay at the hospital.” Meg and I started down the street and paused when we came to the intersection where all of last night’s action happened. “Look at that, still some blood left on the road from the dog. And tire marks from the driver trying to stop.”
Meg walked around the area and remarked, “Boy, Jay is lucky that drunk didn’t hit him. Actually, so are you!”
“I know.” I looked down towards the Jay’s aunt’s residence and did not see any car. “Anyway, let’s head home.”
On Monday I didn’t see Jay anywhere. I looked at his lunch table and saw Soren sitting there with his buddies. He looked over and acknowledged me with a nod. I had to know if Jay was ok but I didn’t have the nerve to approach Soren with all those people around. I floated through my day stewing over why Jay was there when the dog attacked and why was he not at school today. I’d have to actually read my text books to find out what my teachers were talking about because my brain was elsewhere. The final bell rang and I packed up my homework and headed out the school doors. I saw Soren finishing up with one of his track buddies and decided to slow my steps in hopes to chat with him alone.
“Hey Soren, got a second?” I asked.
“Hey Brogen, how are you?” He looked me up and down, not in a sexual ‘checking you out’ kinda’ way, but in a ‘do you have any noticeable injuries’ kinda’ way.
“I’m better. No outward scars - not sure about the internal scarring yet. That whole night was a mess. Where’s Jay? He wasn’t at school today.”
“He’s better. He got released from the hospital Sunday morning. He’ll have a lot of scars...I think they said 65 stitches in total, plus rabies shots.” I looked down and shook my head. I couldn’t help feeling like it was my fault - though I did nothing to precipitate this event. “My mom thought he should take it easy today and have a relaxing day of R n’ R at home. He should be back tomorrow.”
“Your mom? She’s Jay’s aunt?? That makes you guys cousins.” Soren nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the update. There was a lot of blood, were his bites deep?”
“All the bites were about the same - medium severity. Jay just has a way of getting a little more hurt than most people. You know, growing up, we could all jump off the same table and scuff our knees, but Jay would always require a hospital visit and stitches or glue. Just unlucky I guess.”
“Well, I’m really grateful he helped save me. I’ll thank him the next time I see him. Thanks for the update Soren.”
“Hey, are you sure you’re ok? Jay was asking me to check in with you. Honestly, I almost forgot so I’m glad you approached me. He was really worried about you.” I couldn’t believe he was worried about me, I didn’t even get a scratch. I was starting to see some of his charm.
“Tell him I’m good and that I hope he feels better.”
“Okay - see ya’ Brogen.” I waved goodbye and headed toward home. Meg caught up with me and asked about my chat with Soren.
“Wow, Jay was asking about you. Nice guy.” I nodded in agreement. That was the longest I had ever spoken to Soren and I was glad he was nice.
Chapter 5
The next day Jay walked into Algebra wearing jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. No bandages or stitches visible. He caught me looking at him and gave me a little smile. I smiled back, blushed and looked down at my paper in embarrassment. I was not brave enough to look at him anymore in class but I could swear he glanced at me several times. When the bell rang I gathered my books and quickly exited the class - too bashful to talk to him. Clearly he was ok, he was at school after all. What more did I need to ask him?
I went to my locker and traded out my books for my next class. I heard Becca’s sickly sweet sing-song voice and couldn’t help but see who she was targeting. Coming around the corner I saw her long blonde hair bouncing before I saw the rest of her, and then I saw him. Jay. Becca had her arms wrapped around him and she was praising him for being so heroic. My heart dropped. I liked Jay, probably more than I cared to admit to myself, and now the Blonde-squad’s newest member was weaving her web around him. He had no chance. He didn’t look amused, his face actually looked like he was tolerating her, but all it would take is a tight shirt, an earful of compliments, and lots of touching to sway him to loving her. She was beautiful and he was a teenage boy with raging hormones. Jay had made many points in my book with the dog fiasco. This took half of those away. I didn’t like him less, I just saw him as less attainable, less worth pursuing. I hurried away, not wanting to show my disappointed look to him. Dang it! Another day with Jay on the brain. I was either gonna’ flunk my classes or lose any social life to having to reread and teach myself my junior classes.
Lunch finally came around and Meg sat next to me. “What’s with the funk?”
“Becca. She’s making her move on Jay. It’s painful to watch.”
“Ugh, gross. Is he falling for it?” she asked.
“It’s only a matter of time. I need to just thank him and bury my thoughts on him.”
“Boy, you really had it for him.” She took a bite of her sandwich and looked over at Jay’s table. “That’s too bad. He’s cute and funny, I’d actually love to see the two of you together.”
“Not gonna’ happen...” I looked at Meg because she had a surprised look on her face and was staring up above my head. “What?” I turned in my chair and saw a torso, with jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. I looked higher and saw Jay smiling down at me.
“Hey, mind if I sit here for a minute?” I couldn’t speak. I was in shock. He publicly acknowledged me and wanted to sit next to me
in the lunch room. I nodded, though I doubt he would have taken no for an answer.
“Brogen, I just wanted to see if you were ok?”
Meg kept stomping on my foot in excitement. “Yeah, I’m fine. Soren asked me yesterday. How are you?” I gave Meg a dirty look to try and get her to stop abusing my foot.
“Ahh, believe it or not, I’m used to emergency rooms. The bites will heal. The shots sucked. But, the plus side is I get out of gym for the week AND I got to talk to you.” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief over that last phrase.
“Hell of a way to meet someone,” Meg added.
“You looked pretty shook up that night. Everytime I closed my eyes, these last two days, I would see this scared look on your face. It haunted me.”
“Well, I was pretty scared. I don’t know how or why you showed up when you did, but I’m so grateful you did.”
“Fate I guess. My aunt asked me to put a letter in the mailbox. I headed down the driveway and heard some growling. I came closer and saw you and this angry looking dog. I wish I had a different game plan, but I was worried he might attack you. I just tried to distract it, guess it worked.”
“Well, thank you for saving me. I wish you hadn’t been hurt though. Have you heard anything about that drunk driver?”
“They gave him a fine and he has to take some driving classes. They let him off light because he saved us.”
“Is he really not going to drive drunk again? I mean, that’s not much of a punishment. He could have hit you.”
“Yeah, I don’t know.” Soren approached the table and put a hand on Jay’s shoulder.
“Hey Brogen, hey Meg...ready to go Jay?” Meg and I looked at each other. It was as if Stanton High had just been transported into the Twilight Zone. Meg and I were just shadows at the school, we didn’t stand out or interact with many other students - this whole Soren and Jay thing was changing our world.
“Yeah. Anyway Brogen, I’m glad you’re ok.” He stood and gently touched my shoulder as he walked away. Meg and I needed a moment to close our mouths and collect ourselves.
“What the heck!” was all Meg said. I just shrugged my shoulders, I had no words for what just happened. Now that I thanked him, could I really disregard him from now on? The rest of the day I replayed the interaction at lunch and fought with Meg as she teased me for spacing out.
At the end of the day I saw the Blonde-squad surrounding Becca. One of them pointed in my direction and suddenly all eyes fell on me. What the hell? Why were they pointing at me? I hurried with my locker so I could get home fast. As I walked past I heard Becca’s voice mutter “loser”. What the heck! What was her beef with me? I stayed out of everyone’s way, I didn’t stir the pot, I just went to school.
“Why are we speed walking?” I turned and saw Meg next to me trying to keep up.
“Avoiding the Blonde-squad.”
“Oh? Why are you avoiding them? Are they trying to absorb you into their superficial blonde hood?” I stopped and busted out laughing.
“No. I think Becca has a thing for Jay. She was hanging on him after Algebra this morning. Then the whole gang was staring me down at my locker.”
“Huh, so she sees you as a threat. That’s not good. Not good for Jay and especially not good for you. She’s going to target you and do whatever she can to make you less appealing to Jay.”
“I am already NOT appealing to Jay. He was just checking on me.”
“You are TOO appealing to him. He saved you, that creates a special bond between you two. You survived a stressful situation together and helped each other. You can’t buy that in a bottle.” She was right. I felt that bond grow between Jay and me that night.
“Shit. I’m in trouble.” Meg puffed out her cheeks and nodded.
When my mom got home from seeing patients that night, I told her about the events of the day. “Mom, I’m worried about what Becca and her buddies will do. I hate drama.”
“Well, they haven’t really done anything yet. People will say what they want and can be cruel. It’s up to us to decide whether we let their words in to hurt us. You just have to decide to not let it in. Maybe she’ll give up once she realizes it’s not affecting you. Don’t give her words any power.” It was worth a try. I mean, my mom went through lots of school and has helped many people improve their relationships with others, surely she’d be spot on with her advice.
The week continued very much like that Tuesday had. Jay would purposely bump into me when I was at my locker and smile and say, “oh sorry, excuse me.” This would cause me to blush despite my efforts to not be affected by him. On Friday he joined our lunch table at the end of the period just to “update me on his healing progress.” But Meg and I think it was to leave behind his hoodie so I’d have to seek him out to return it. All the while Becca was putting forward an excellent effort to ensnare Jay. She tried to burn through my skin with her venomous glare during the two classes I had with her and I did my best to not let it get to me, just as mom suggested.
I continued with my drawing, meditation, and runs and decided to move them to an earlier part of the evening, hoping to avoid the afterwork barhoppers. I needed to be strong, physically and mentally in case the Blonde-squad attacked. School was in full swing and there were talks of the upcoming Homecoming dance and tryouts for several winter sports. The high school melodrama was in the air, you could almost smell it - sickly sweet at times, rancid and putrid the rest of the time.
In Tuesday’s art club, Meg teased, “Are you going out for basketball this year?” She knew I didn’t do organized team sports.
“Nah, too busy trying to become a world class artist,” I teased back. Meg and I joined art club because it looked good on college applications, was fun, and the people in there were easy to like and get along with.
“I heard Jay went out for swimming and made the team,” Meg said while looking at me curiously for a response. I just nodded my head. “Wonder what he looks like in a swimsuit?” I turned and tapped her hand with my paint-soaked paintbrush. “Hey, just sayin’!” she snickered as she walked away to wash off the paint.
In Algebra, I was treated to a sick display of Becca in all her glory. She had on a very tight white shirt that was cut low and a short flowy miniskirt. She kept giggling and writing notes...passing them to Jay. I felt like gagging. He blushed a few times, chuckled a little, and wrote back and passed it to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I guess the stressful event bond we had was wearing off. I didn’t want to watch them, but I couldn’t help it. I wondered what was on those papers but knew I would never know. I couldn’t help feeling pissed off; jealous. My mood was spoiled for the day. I slammed my locker, avoided all eye contact, and I didn’t even look Jay’s way at lunch. Meg could tell something was up but she didn’t mess with me. She knew I just needed space. I needed to let this Jay fantasy go. He was out of my league - he could have any girl. I was dreaming big and needed a big fat reality pinch. WAKE THE HELL UP!
Before the day was out the Blonde-squad dropped another “loser” on me. Jay “accidentally” bumped into me while walking, not once...but twice. I didn’t look up either time. I didn’t acknowledge him. I was glad it was Friday so I could recenter and be away from the drama of high school.
At dinner that night Mom told me my dad wanted to take me to dinner on Saturday. “Why is he trying to have a relationship with me now? I don’t get it. I’m almost an adult, he missed a huge chunk of my life. I don’t need him now.” This day felt like that book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”
“I don’t know sweetie. My guess is that he has a new girl he’s trying to impress...one with kids of her own and he’s trying to make a good impression. Or maybe he was too selfish to be able to help raise you, but now that you are self-sufficient, he wants back in, or maybe he doesn’t want to pay child support anymore.” Mom was grasping at straws. None of her reasons included him getting to know me because he missed me. “Maybe you’ll get a better feel of th
ings after the dinner.”
“Why are you ok with this?” I asked.
“I’m not sweetie - but a court battle can be costly and ugly. I guess I’m hoping that you both either realize it’s ok to have a relationship or that it’s not and we can move on,” she admitted.
Saturday evening came quick and I dressed in a skater style short dress with black leggings. My dad rang our bell and told my mom he’d have me back after dinner. He looked older and shorter than I remembered. He still had a full head of hair and was fairly attractive for a middle age guy. As I walked to the car I could make out two other people in the car. I got in the back seat. My dad got in front and turned to face me. Brogen, this is Becca and her mom Linda. They will be joining us for dinner.” I looked at the girl in the backseat with me and it was Becca from SCHOOL!. Oh my God. Now I had to be cordial to her and her mom. I painted on the best fake smile I could.